The Work: Byron Katie’s Method for Community Builders
- Brianna Leever
- Sep 18
- 5 min read
Introduction: Why Community Builders Need The Work
In our interconnected world, communities often struggle with conflict, misunderstanding, and the weight of unexamined assumptions. Whether it's a neighborhood group, workplace team, or online community, the stories we tell ourselves about others can create barriers to genuine connection and collaboration.
Enter "The Work" – a simple yet profound method of inquiry developed by Byron Katie that has the power to transform not just individual lives, but entire communities. At its core, The Work is a way of investigating the thoughts that cause us to suffer, offering a path from judgment and conflict to understanding and peace.
First, the Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet
We begin the process by filling out a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet to go deep into an aggravated situation. There’s no wrong way to fill it out except for being dishonest. Use this as a brainstorm to come up with 1 line that is your “thought.” This line should ideally encapsulate what bothers you about the situation.
For example: “Suzy lied to John.”
Ask Byron Katie’s Four Questions
Now that you have your 1 thought identified. The Work consists of four fundamental questions that help us examine our stressful thoughts about others, situations, and ourselves:
1. Is it true? This first question invites us to pause and honestly consider whether our thought or judgment is actually true. Often, we'll discover that what we believed was an absolute fact is actually just our interpretation.
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true? This question goes deeper, asking us to examine our certainty. Even if something seems true, can we know it with 100% certainty? If someone else were to have the same thought, would they say it is absolutely true? This question helps us recognize the limitations of our perspective.
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? Here, we explore the impact of our beliefs. How do we feel, behave, treat others and ourselves when we hold onto this thought? What does it cost us emotionally, physically, and relationally to believe this thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought? This transformative question invites us to imagine ourselves without the limiting belief. How would we show up differently? How would we treat ourselves and others without this thought? What would become possible in our interactions?
The Turnaround: Seeing from New Angles
After the four questions comes "the turnaround" – finding opposite or different ways to express the original thought. This process helps us see situations from multiple perspectives and often reveals our own deeper truths.
The turnarounds are typically:
The self.
The opposite.
The other.
For example, if your original statement was “Suzy lied to John.” The task in the turnaround is to come up with 1-3 genuine and specific examples about how each of the following statements is true.
The self: I lied to John.
The opposite: Suzy didn’t lie to John.
The other: John lied to Suzy. (This one can get a bit trippy, it’s helpful to have you partner helping you find the other.)
Applying The Work to Community Building
Creating Safe Spaces for Honest Dialogue
When community builders learn The Work, they develop the skills to examine their own judgments before projecting them onto others. This creates an environment where people feel safer to be authentic, knowing that conflicts will be approached with curiosity rather than blame.
Example in Practice: Instead of saying "John never listens to anyone," a community member using The Work might explore: "Is it true that John never listens? Can I absolutely know this? How do I feel when I believe this thought? Who would I be without it?" This inquiry often reveals that John does listen sometimes, and the belief was creating distance in their relationship.
Reducing Conflict and Focusing Internally
The Work helps community members take responsibility for their own emotional reactions rather than trying to change others. This shift from external to internal focus dramatically reduces conflict and creates space for genuine problem-solving.
Building Empathy and Connection
By questioning our assumptions about others' motivations and actions, we open ourselves to seeing their humanity more clearly. The turnaround process especially helps us understand that what we judge in others often reflects something within ourselves.
Getting Started: First Steps for Your Community
Learn the concepts: Reading Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is or listening to her podcast is a great way to get exposed to the tool. You can also join us for a free workshop in the Ember Community September 30th, 2025.
Practice the Work: This is something we actively create time for the Ember community or you can check out events offered online through thework.com
Introduce The Work in your own community: Over time, you might consider introducing this tool to your community (especially before there is conflict). Sow the seeds now for your members learning to stay open and curious with themselves and others.
Be Patient with the Process: Transformation takes time, and communities need space to integrate these new ways of thinking and relating
The Path Forward: Applying The Work in Community Building
The Work offers communities a practical pathway from judgment to understanding, from conflict to connection. By teaching us to question our thoughts rather than our neighbors, it creates the foundation for genuine community – one built on curiosity, compassion, and authentic relationship.
As more community members learn to investigate their stressful thoughts, the collective wisdom grows. What emerges is not a community free from disagreement, but one equipped to navigate differences with grace, understanding, and ultimately, love.
The four questions are simple, but their impact on community life can be revolutionary. When we stop believing every thought we think about others and start questioning our assumptions, we open the door to the kind of community we all long for – one where every person feels seen, heard, and valued for who they truly are.
Free Workshop: The Work for Community Builders
Ready to explore The Work? Join us for a free workshop on September 30th at 11am PST, hosted in the Ember Community.
FAQ: The Work & Community Building
Q: What is “The Work” by Byron Katie? The Work is a self-inquiry process that helps people question stressful thoughts. It’s built around four powerful questions and a turnaround exercise that can dissolve judgment, reduce conflict, and create more peace.
Q: How can community builders use The Work? Leaders can use The Work to manage conflict, reduce burnout, and create safer spaces for members. Instead of reacting to difficult people or situations, community builders learn to respond with clarity and compassion.
Q: Is The Work only for personal growth, or can it help groups? Both! While it starts with individual reflection, the ripple effects are huge. Communities that use The Work often see reduced conflict, stronger member engagement, and deeper trust.
Q: Do I need experience with Byron Katie’s method to join the Ember workshop? Not at all. The September 30th session is designed for beginners and experienced practitioners alike. You’ll get the tools, guidance, and space to practice right away.
Q: How do I join the Ember Community? You can sign up for the free workshop first to get a taste of our approach. Afterward, you’ll have the option to join Ember for ongoing support, tools, and practice sessions designed for community builders.
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