20. How to Stop Comparing Your Community to Others

Brianna Leever
Jul 1
3 min read

In this episode, we’re hearing from The Jealous Host. Our letter today deals with a community builder stuck in a comparison spiral, whose insecurities are taking the wheel and making them feel like they're competing with community members and other communities, and falling short.

To better help The Jealous Host, I invited Charmaine Jennings as my guest. Like me, she's no stranger to this conundrum. She founded Hustle + Charm, a supportive in-person community for women and nonbinary entrepreneurs focused on life, business, and career growth.

Since Charmaine was going down a community comparison spiral of her own, and she was brave enough to open up and share her experience with us, we were able to turn this episode into a coaching session.

So, tune in for a couple of tools that are extremely useful to navigate the mental storms and spirals that we can often find ourselves in as community builders.

Click to learn more about Heartbeat, Bri's favorite all-in-one community platform!

In this episode:

(03:43) The communitea: The Jealous Host’s letter

(06:13) Reframe the feeling of being behind your community members' growth

(10:29) Charmaine's in-person community: Hustle + Charm

(13:12) How Bri and Charmaine experience their community comparison spirals

(17:18) Distill the belief created by comparison

(19:21) The four questions to challenge your belief

(27:04) Turn around your belief

(34:28) The value of this inquiry process for navigating your stubborn thoughts

(38:04) The comparison syndrome from Charmaine's standpoint

(39:57) Understand what to focus your energy on with the three types of judgments

(44:56) The impact of inherited bias judgment

Watch on YouTube

Resources Mentioned:

📝 Learn more about Byron Katie's process of self-inquiry.

🎧 Catch up with Eric Plantenberg's Dear Bri episode.

❤️ Sign up for Heartbeat. Bri’s recommended all-in-one community platform.

💛 Join Ember. The place for go-getter community creators building community-powered businesses.

Noteworthy quotes

“The one sentence that is a supposed belief that's floating through my head [is] 'I don't have the tools, the discipline, the consistency, or the resources to be where we should be eight years in.'- Charmaine Jennings

“ I think what's so dangerous is just to go through the world completely oblivious to how you are interpreting it. Now you've lost all sense of agency of like how you can move through the world, because you're just being pushed and pulled according to the whims of how you are interpreting the world around you." - Bri Leever

Charmaine Jennings

Charmaine is the Founder and CEO of Strategic Charm, a digital marketing agency helping businesses connect with their dream clients online. She also leads Hustle + Charm, a supportive community for women and nonbinary entrepreneurs focused on life, business, and career growth.

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Bri Leever

Bri got her start building a community and growing it to a multi-million dollar revenue stream for a social enterprise in Portland, OR. Now, she supports folks used to running their business on content, coaching, and consulting to create their community offer. She's a Community Strategist by day and a Campervan host by night on the Big Island of Hawaii and you'll usually find her on, in, or under the water.

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