top of page

11. How do I allow for tough conversations in my community but not let them take over? with Mallory Contois, Head of Community at Mercury

Writer's picture: Brianna LeeverBrianna Leever



In this episode, we hear from Negativity in New York. Today’s letter deals with the nuanced line between keeping your community positive while making space for people to be honest and real about the struggles they are experiencing.


To better help Negativity in New York, I invited Mallory Contois as my guest expert. She has lots to contribute today because as the creator of one of my FAVORITE communities, Old Girls Club — a virtual community for working women with over 1,800 members that’s been running for 2.5 years on Slack.


Mallory has seen some sh*t, so tune in for some tactical advice and practical strategies for navigating the difficult task of allowing tough conversations to take place in your community but not letting them take over.

Yellow banner with a photo of Bri smilling to the camera on the far left. Next to her, you can read "Dear Bri," in bold black letters. To the right, you can see a white button with a cursor on it, the Heartbeat logo in the center, and a notification symbol on its top left corner.
Click to learn more about Heartbeat, Bri's favorite all-in-one community platform!

In this episode:


(04:33) Moderating difficult topics and maintaining a safe space

(12:08) The Politics channel: a test

(16:28) Different responses for different sizes of community

(19:31) The communitea: Negativity in New York’s letter

(20:58) What to do when a community member is trauma dumping

(27:35) Practical advice for having those tough conversations

(33:39) The importance of creating some distance from community members

(37:37) The wild success of the Yell in Caps Here channel in the OGC community


Watch it on YouTube:




Resources Mentioned:


👩‍🦰 Join the Old Girls Club jointheogc.com

🎧 Catch up with past Dear Bri episodes mentioned: Episode 7 with Andrea Middleton and Episode 9 with Jae Washington.

❤️ Sign up for Heartbeat. Bri’s recommended all-in-one community platform.

💛 Join Ember. The place for go-getter community creators building community-powered businesses.


Noteworthy quotes


I think the other thing that really works for just so many of these types of situations is maintaining that expectation of an even balance of give and take from a community, from each of your members. Again, that is a really crystal clear thing to explain to somebody, and it is, in my opinion, the core of a successful community.“ - Mallory Contois


There's just a limitation to what can be facilitated online and there might just be a coming to terms with what needs to happen in person.“ - Bri Leever


Mallory Contois

Mallory leads Community at Mercury, a bank for ambitious companies, and is the founder of The Old Girls Club — a virtual community for working women. She is also an angel investor and advisor to early-stage founders, focusing on those building in the consumer social, art & creativity, women's health, and marketplace spaces. She previously spent time on the early teams at Pinterest & Cameo focusing on product-led growth and as the COO of Metafy, a marketplace for gamers to find community and master their skills.

🖥️ Website


Bri Leever

Bri got her start building a community and growing it to a multi-million dollar revenue stream for a social enterprise in Portland, OR. Now, she supports folks used to running their business on content, coaching, and consulting to create their community offer. She's a Community Strategist by day and a Campervan host by night on the Big Island of Hawaii and you'll usually find her on, in, or under the water.


📹 Youtube


Yellow banner with big bold black letters to the left that say "Want expert community strategy and advice?" To the right, a mockup of an iphone displaying the Dear Bri Podcast cover and player. The words "community startegy" community fiascos" and "drama" appear in colorful bubbles over the phone.
Click on the image to submit your community conundrum!

Your community could be next!


Submit an anonymous letter about your community conundrum, fiasco, drama, or other dilemma here.


And before you go…


💜 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

💚 Leave a review on Spotify

❤️ Subscribe on YouTube


That helps the podcast more than you know and I deeply appreciate it. 🙏


*Dear Bri is produced by Ideablossoms.


댓글


bottom of page